same shyt different days..

my life's a vantage point...everybody gat a different take

give or take

bottom line is some folk just live to hate

but i dont hate em back matter fact i appreciate

cuz thanks to that i use em to give me strength

meditate to the most high n elevate

wit no high..no medicate

just rise above..levitate

n wit so many chips to make

i cant just sit n wait

i lift the weight..placed on me by affiliates

who cudnt make it...so i take em wit me as i accelerate

might hear them down me..but words wont penetrate

success is the best way to devastate..any who negate

no reply..no debate

no remorse no rebate

im bout to marry the hustle..i set a date

to see my state change..

like u.s exchange rates

i maintain faith...

to sustain fate

so when the rain breaks..

im straight

 

 

 

 

what am i provin..

evrytime i feel i hit a groove..i end up losin

situations rarely improvin

runnins as fast as i can ..but feel like i aint movin

when u look at the consequences that u in

from unplanned movements..that leaves ya chance ruined

to make things right n u think back on life..like what if i neva knew this

its useless..cuz evrything is for a reason ..reason bein it's inevitable to not do shyt

n almost impossible to redo it..after you blew it

just another scar u grew wit..

impactin it's influence on future resolutions

long as u dont misconstrue..problem wit solution

then the solution aint a problem..its a cue

to rise above what you used to do..

so life dont seem suspended as it do..

whenever mistakes repeat ..defeat is sickening..so wisdom peaks relief..like thera-flu

guess shyt aint as bad as think..who knew?

 

 

understand..just listen

im tryna position myself..into a man's definition

driven..by ambition..wit no brakes..

so little room for mistakes..i might suffocate

but..this is how i'll find out who am i

consumed by pride..forced to push feelinz to the side

it's do or die...to stop is suicide

so i hustle push claw..no flaw just pace n stride

caught in this rush..heart beat speed up

cant fall behind..have to keep up

street up..sqaud up...stock up

no time to die or get locked up

so im evry where dey wont see me

no envy..im emotionally empty

not jealous..i dont watch fellas

dey watch me..tryna copy but cud neva do betta

i run thru cheddar..das y i gatta make more

cuz i wanna live better

so in a year maybe more

i aint just an employee..im entrepreneur

from nassau to ports..

andros resort...

no bills so chill..beachfront fa sure

acres..wit no neighbors wake up to shores

highly favoured..dreamers dream

i materialize my thoughts

so i guess that makes me a boss?..of course

same dude who used to walk from court to court

now keyless entry unlocks his doors

neva satisfied..what's yours is yours

i need mine..i need time to 1 to 4

turn 4 to 14..

tryna show em what "this is why im hot" means

ahhhhhhhh....................

 

 

 

 

sittin reminiscin as my mind replays over life

feelins shift..seems as if things can change overnight

livin with the regrets....tho i have let em go

some things i cant forget...n they sting to the soul

gat me watchin my steps...cant fall in the same holes

same eyes..just different views of the way things go

it'll be so easy if i lose control..

get lost on a moment..soothe my soul

but everytime i do..i review the old

preview whats to come..then pride takes hold

n when my ego's swole...there's no reachin me

the thing that beats in me...drops to degrees so cold

n detach myself from anything i own..or anyone i may have known

so many paths to take..but im a pave my own

till my name's engraved in stone..

all i cud do is pray i aint wrong........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i try to be different..but who am i kiddin

some things never change...it's in my veins

strange..how quickly feelins shift

from bein so into u..to not bein into shyt

n i dont mean to be so in-con-sid-e-rate

but that's how it is...not so much deliberate

but i dont feel the same way i did..say a month on in

now im lookin back at what i did

played gipetto..from the get go..

u was spose to be a puppet..wit no strings attached..but u wont let go

so i cant fight u..just let time fly by..

till u lose that eye..n ya view gets clearer

cuz u knew i lied..but didnt want hear it

so u knew this time..was close n comin

but u was still there by my side..

tho u cudnt see me half the time

n i wish i cud explain this..

 

 

uh

 

life's a struggle but i love it

live it n learn from it...

seen ppl walk in it..walk from it..over dumbshyt

seen my hopes rise...nosedive n plummet

yet i survive..regain stride n overcome it

still gat some pride..but i cant run from it

pain?..im numb from it

so now i avoid fake's n just hustle

like today's my last..cuz tommorow aint promised

while savin my harvest in case rainy days come in

dont hate dont lie...live n die trustin

in those who trust me ..only the real stay humble

it's hard to love when u been deepfried from it

n we try n try..but we grow tired of it

so i dried my cries ..retired from it

cuz only those willin to sacrifice gain a life of it

the rest simply detest the likes of it

reminiscin the strife n fights that came from it

cuz they werent self-less ..just too selfish to rise above it

n im layed back for a while..thinkin why i'd done it

to accelerate me...livin with regrets..the backstabs penetrate me

so i cut off the deadweight..accept that folks will hate me

jus cuz of the fact they cant pre-meditate me...

cant understand..cant regenerate me

all they cud do is try n push my buttons..till they detonate me

i kno i dont control my own fate

but  the decisions leadin up to it that i can say 

tryna make so when the Lord comes..i cant stay

chant praise

 

 

 

 

 

jus blaze

 

 

it hurts me thinkin of ya kiss

tryna live wit da fact i cant see u knowin it didnt start like this

my biggest crush..with the slickest touch

gat me sittin up wonderin y we'd eva give it up

used to live it up..u'd neva get rid of me

now things different huh..u str8 up sick of me

n i cant stay mad..play bad..

cuz full well u onnna da best eva ray had

n tho we on seperate paths..

i still believe in u..neva regret that

good times i'll neva forget that

but now im at a point i just gatta step back

let u do ya thing..n i dont believe in sumthin returnin

so im burnin...cuz once a good thing gets lost..its rarely eva returnin

n u may not eva think of me the same way

but end of the day..there was neva games played

got caught up in the wrong things..n gave way

allowin the opportunity to take place...

where u'd lose trust in me n our feelinz wud change pace

believe me when i say..it wasnt me that day

wish i cud say who..but maybe it was spose to be that way

listenin to friends.."oh yeah girl he that way"

knowin i was tru..neva did i stray

but when u started pushin me away..

i flipped cudnt see that straight....

wishin i cud hold u ...just see that face

those eyes..that smile..that'll be so great

if i cud re-iterate what  time deleted..cleaned n erased

u might forget about us but i kno i aint cuz...

 

 

i cant get u off my mind..

tho i kno u aint mine..im so hooked on ya style

n whatever i do..i cant find another u

so i guess i gatta take this n smile

 

 

 

yeah..i made mistakes

still payin for em to this day

when sorry aint enuff...n "i miss u" is overplayed

n we misuse trust..cuz feelinz are overlayed

by anger n pain..n feelin so betrayed

but not all the time we see the portrait as portrayed

n it's so easy to leave..we'd forgetten y we stayed

y we believed ....just got more rotten as the days...

passed on...this will forever last on..specially knowin i been replaced

but this what i allowed to happen..cuz i let u lose faith

thinkin u was unfaithful when u aint

livin up to "their perception..but i saw evrything i want in ya face

n i cant take anything back....so physically i gatta let u go

but emotionally i cant..cz i feel for u more than u'd eva kno

 

real talk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

talkin to myself in third person

 

 

uh..he takes responsiblity for his.. it's on him

still tryna figure out what happens when he gets involved in

relationships that start legit n end up dissolvin

is it him or is it them?..gat some issues needin resolvement

feels like he's livin in a world that aint revolvin

tryna push it to the limit..slowly evolvin

but every time he feels emotions its p-rob-lem

n he'd be lyin if he said he wasnt feelin em

wasnt missin..wasnt needin em..

by his side...Gad damn his pride....

he's so diff-e-rent from other guys...

he stays tru...calm n loyal..yet under eyes

he's so scared torn n puzzled..trouble underlies

he's unsecure bout certain things it's his demise

with a reputation that exceeds him...filled with lies

but he cant leave em alone..till he finds a queen to seat on his throne

more than just a few weekends alone

speakin of years spent...spring to fall

n a few chicks he met ..yeah they worth it all

but once bitten twice shy...so he rarely commits at all

but he aint a dawg....he just lookin out for him..back against a wall

cuz errytime he gives in..his strengths break em all

but when he's vulnerable..girls shake him off

n yeah he act shady...but he makes it known

n at times he acts prematurely...but he aint fake..he's grown

man of his word..not a follower he holds his own

so if u see him ..dont throw ya stones

hug a nigga ..let him know he aint alone..

 

he's so gone.............................

 

 

 

see i gat a problem

 

so many chicks been down fa me

n i just seem to let em down ya see

neva cried so many tears inside its drownin me

cuz im chasin ones that aint around fa me

n it hurts me hurtin u...knowin the things i do

make u cry..even i wonder y myself

but im out for the moment tryna find myself

n i'll neva understand how it happens

i flirt n mack em..perhaps when im tired i'll be back in

ya heart..cud pick up from the start

but u must not kno bout me...see i break hearts in-directly

so it's to the left to the left.

when we shud be thinkin to the death to death

but i aint learnin..its like words to the deaf

n by the time i'll want u..u'll be wit someone else

cuz i kno i'm replaceable..unforgetable..untraceable

what u see is what u get..all of me till i take it back

n i feel i'll neva change till time changes that

cud be years days months..y front..be upfront

luv me wit ya mind..spare ya heart the dump

save the drama...imma rollin stone...heart came wit armor

so dont think im bein cruel rude or heartless

it's hard fo me to choose..between flesh n hearts it's

like my flesh lives..n the rest is departed

hope u get the message i imparted'''

if not?..just disregard this..it's hard kid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yeah i admit it..

past few months i been slippin

trippin off my own intuition

an incurable condition...that i've fixed in position

from a fixation with women..

n my addictions grown bigger than it's cure

the little that was pure..dissolved in my flawz

im zipped up..this devil's suit cant come off

n the medication God gave me is wearin off

lost..knowin the consequences of my actions

but jut the thought of satisfaction gat me mackin

wrapped in..trapped in my devices..with no key

it's saw three n i barely realized it

cuz im blinded..by short term pleasure

wit long term measures i endure till im buried

n i'm 5 miles from empty..wit no reserve

i so deserve to die for my lies..my deceit

kept every receipt..a non refundable defeat

n it repeats..evry time a honey's lookin sweet

nice n thick..short n sweet

i know im wrong so i own up...practically raised myself

but so far from grown up..mentality of a winner

generosity at the center...tho  fall n fall again

u always help me get up..i'll never understand

there must be a bigger purpose..u really want me to stand

cuz when i give up on me..u still holdin my hand

tho i disappoint u every day...

tho i turn away...

u neva left ..that's y im scared

cuz i mess up anyway...

n thinkin bout drives me insane..is this in vane?

even in pleasure im feelin pain...

cuz i wanna really walk wit u..i got issues..

but i wont change today..let's see this out

to be continued.....................

 

 

once bitten..twice shy..three times?..forget it

any doubts of bein nice now forget it

learn to live with regrets..mistakes will be made

n the deeper involved u get the stakes will be raised

so many expectations...it's inevitable to fail

life's full of aches n pains...withdrawals n rage

gatta step back ..to gain

try to stay on ya game....

tho experience leads to change..

stay tru to u..only the real remain

kill the doubts ..release the chaains..

turnin over a new leaf...a path free from games

honesty's all i gat...no finger to blame

accept responsibility for all i claim

cuz all i came with..was sin n naked

no instructions  what i taught myself..is protect wats sacred

my character..my strengths...my patience

so somewhere i kno i'll make it

whichever road i'll take it...

cuz years down the road..i wanna own my acres

raise my kids...make my paper

see my name highly favoured

from hard work n dedication...

my will's my sedative..my medication

it soothes my burn..releases my tension

takes me away..leaves me suspended

cuz i cant get attached..this curse is so persistent

i'm all i know..ppl cud be so inconsistent

so if i cant stand on my own...hold my position

then let me cease to exist...n free my spirit

 

it's on me

 

 

 

 

i been brushed off..pusshed off..left for dead

forgotten..betrayed..abused..misread

misunderstood...used..and jeered

n it used to hurt...tore my heart to shreds

now i use the hurt..propel myself ahead

into a realm of nice things n wealth

experience helped..i aint the ray they used to seein

changed my mindset reason bein

that tomorrow's too uncertain to hold grudges against human beins

so i suck it up..toughen up

life dont change it 's ways to suit none of us

so i change my ways to suit life

took a while to swallow my pride..but that's life

girls come n go..that's nice

but i'm lookin for a consistent type..that's right

been kicked while i was down...like twice

everytime im goin thru  crisis...they get griped

n i dont chase..let em get swiped

cuz i dont need that stress..i luv life

n tho these niggas hate...i'm still fly

still livin like i cant die...knowin i shudda been dead least 5 times

but i'm the only dog wit 9 lives

lookin for a dime to share mine wit

but i end up wit nickels n one time hits

so i gave up on that "mrs. right" tip

most chicks dont want much in life..cept nice kicks

or niggas in nice fits with nice whips

nice job...money nice n long..nice crib

so i rewrite the songs as i get

older n diffrentiate..liabilities n assets

a real lady dont consist of ass n nice tits

she gat class..loyal...n adjusts what life gives

n i kno atleast 2 in my life like this

actually quite a few..tho i let em slip

cuz they came at a time i cudnt handle it

n now i attract the bad bitches...

so i dont holla no more...i ignore

looks dont move me no more..i swear

im lookin behind eyes...she gatta have more than curled hair

cuz most girls aint what they appear

give em 3 months ..u'll see everything clear

when the cuttin up wears off..n the problems interfere

see who was in love..n who loves ya dear

who cud come see u when u hurt..when da world dont care

u aint gatta worry cuz she be right there....

i'd give anything to feel that there...

but bad examples..gat me three times more scared to eva share

eva care...eva stare in pretty eyes

cuz i feel all i'll eva hear is witty lies

cuz they scared..aint prepared for a future

n truth is...love aint greater than fear

love dont love nobody..it's neva seemed fair

but life aint either..deal wit it ..immaturity leads to affairs

n affairs lead to distrust..to disgust...emotional mix ups

n u go from lookin for a good girl..to lookin to get ya dick sucked

haha..cruel world...but it's up to u how it unfurls

how it plays out..complex or laid out

its up to u if u gon stress...or phase out

none-the -less...it fades out...

cuz love n life..is like life n death..it's inevitable..just weigh it out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i'm in too deep..cant choose sides

evrytime i think i gain..i lose stride

it convicts spirit..yet fuels pride

a fool's bribe..n i took it with jewelled eyes

foolish..yet it soothes the same pain it brings

short term pleasure...consequence remains

but i refrain from thinkin bout it till my high's obtained

then i beat myself up for it..cuz it's insane

the same thing that's killin me..cures my burn

i make the same mistakes..im too involved to learn

sacrifice..i want to..but the lures are firm

n they aint budgin..despite how i push n squirm

n i cant handle it alone..but i cant talk about it

so im shut off from the world..dont nobody kno about it

im too ashamed to tell...made for heaven..claimed by hell

maybe the devil's gat me..it's too late to tell

or maybe imma breakthrough waitin to happen..cant say myself

but as i age it aint gettin better..

try to resist..but we end up back together..

im addicted..obsessed..it's too much for me

feels like im bein punished..evrytime i see..

speak..touch ..hear ..im weak

i need clarity...cuz im feelin like i ...

like i...

like i im too "out there" to reach

.............................

 

 

uh...

 

 

 

scared of what's happening

setback's at evry turn unravelling

parts of me i hate showing...

yet nobody hears my cries..

slient screams...all they see is a smile

my name..ringin in the ears of many

for things i dont deserve credit for

or merit..they love the negative me

the positive? they wont hear it

so y share it...they lovve to see me heartbroken eyes tearin

im starin

in the mirror..not seeing a reflection

just a misconception of my perception

"you dont look like this".."you dont act like that"

they try n put my face to something im not

i cant take it...

so many lowered expectations..

shud i rise above of it?..or provide em comfort

puttin them before me..dont seem intelligent

but puttin me before them makes me selfish doesnt it?

torn between..freedom..n free will

n it's killin me not knowin what tomorrow brings

bad decisions..driven by lavish livin

flesh influenced...death n ruin..is all it leads to

but i love it

so what do i do  this is so confusing

i try to tell the devil to shove. it.change my life

then next minute..im tryna covet my neighbour's wife?

what's the aim of life...in this game of life

i need a cheat code..feel like im goin thru each stages twice

n im scared to fail..to die of gunshots...die of AIDS

from one minute of mistakes..a whole life taken away

Lord take me before i stray..i pray...

what's the use...feel like i wont gain

no matter how much i obtain..attain..my stains remain

n perfection aint in my veins

n protection cant keep me safe

no gun no rubber no knife no way

of me avoidin my fate...

my face..shows all i feel

expressions express my real's

ordeals..my ups my downs

show me my kingdom..before i lose my crown

my ground..im wounded now

i dont kno how to trust..love?dont exist

m the few times i do..they dont assist

another door closed..another burnt bridge

n i'm colder than a fridge..

angel till i die..soldier while i live

but it's hard..please show me away

the worlds a maze..

n it s seemin death's the only escape

so till the signs come ..i'll keep holdin the faith

per say

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

minutes turn hours turn days..

n i aint pickin up the phone this time

see i'm..

feelin not so in the mood for u

somewhere we grew...

somewhere we knew..we grew apart

n i been tryin hard not to get bored

but...i cant help..cuz see normally im selfish

but what i thought i was in made me more selfless

helpless..n u'd take advantage of my smile

my style..of not pullin scenes ..stayin calm on trial

n evry little thing..evry word gets thrown back

yet i press thru the negative..hopin for positive feed back

but your so jealous..n truly..i dont need that

so i sit here...thinkin of my imperfections

my immaturity..tryna measure up to what u want from me

but i cant..cuz u expect nothin..

u expect me to mess up to cover up your problems

n ive become so intoxicated by your presence

that im actin unconsciously the feelin is overwhelmin

it's hurtin me...but this torture feels so good

tryna see if i cud make a fire with no wood

u drainin me...cuz im givin givin ..n u barely entertainin me

it's makin me sick..i gat a hangover just thinkin of ya kiss

of ya smile..all the while not realizin...u killin me slowly

n i aint even noticed

but the time without u is allowin me to sober

i may be out till november

but we'll end before october

i gave u my all..neva lied neva cheated

but now i keep my distance

due to irreconcilable difference-s

mixed up with...alotta luggage from unhealthy relat-ion-ships

n i aint the type to chase ya...

so before it goes all bad..just let me take the time to say that

i took u for ya good n for ya bad

but u wont realize somethin good till it aint there to grab

gatta air it out...

there;s aloota good ones out there ma..next time take the time to hear em out

 

 

 

 

 

it's overwhelmin..im self consumed

nowhere seems like home

my gift my curse...ppl only kno my face

my fate?..no one relates

my faith?..fading every breath i take

i'm becomin evrything i hate

tho evrything seems great...it aint

my joy's overtook by pain

my reign..is rain..darkness..but i cant complain

cuz i've hardened..made scars from stains

now it's harder just to sustain

stay sane..press on..to gain

but gain what?..what i want seems unattained

what i need is an ear or shoulder

cuz i gat tears neva cried while sober

and really there's no one to blame

so many ways to change..but i cant maintain

i fall back from where i came

n with all that..u think i'd change

but im caught up in my games

my vices...any time there's crisis

im back in my corner...attackin who wants ta

help but they dont kno who dey dealin wit

see i'mma genius..n it hurts bein manipulative

but it soothes the burn....

cuz my emotions get the best of me..i refuse to learn

so i'll be damned till i lose my firm

grip on what reality is...

or till reality loses me ....ha

 

 

 

 

 

dont eva know what u gat till its gone

it dont eva feel right till its wrong

n tho it aint what u want u move on

and that's when they dont like the response

after u tried to fight so long

thinkin nuthin cud break such a tightened bond

n in ya eyes feels like they the one

till u drop ya guards when they drop the bomb

so im like...preserve self first

nobody can love u like u...then other ties might work

dont be a fool for nobody..

cuz love dont love nobody

try ya best to let it grow...

n if it dont try ya best to let it go

cuz life aint a friend or foe

the consequences cud leave u bent or broke

ppl come n go...realize the truth

branches might break..keep the trunks n roots

stay up....u'll only grow stronger

learn to live without regrets

n feel pain no longer

cuz it aint till ya far apart..till the heart grows fonder

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dont mis-read my signs

i mean..i dont wanna lead u on..but das just me sometimes

i say thingz to get what i want..

so before u get too deep lemme put da brakes on

i dont wanna hurt u..u nice and all

but i was only interested in one night..thats all

so what i liked dissolved..da minute ya clothes came off

plz dont make this hard..i dont wanna be blamed at fault

cuz tho u want us to be..we aint involved

so let me be..we cud be friends from a distance

cuz i cant look u in ya eyes..it'll trigger my guilt n i

gat a problem with my built in pride

so gimme space..matter fact gimme da whole nine

see ya feelinz untamed..i can control mine

flick em on n off...hope is lost

hope u dont hate me...but this cant go on

this is me time...tryna re-cline

n figure what i want ...sweet lies

i didnt mean to

so just let me fade to black...i aint king enuff to queen u

actually i am..but i'm just tryna make it easier to breeze thru

 

sorry sorry sorry sorry.................

 

 

dayz end the same way..cold beds n heart aches

tho i learned to set apart the fakes

all da real ones taken..n i'm only foolin masef

tryna break up sumthin so sacred

tho dey like my style smile n conversations

there's more to me than what we make it

n i aint bitchin but..i gatta mention it

i'm slippin into a place where a conscience aint welcomed in

n i'd lie if i said i aint felt um

but damn...enuffs enuff ..settlin aint helpin

n lookin fa it leads to infatuation

so i'm chillin..killin myself with a alcohol n weed fascination

prayin for a time

when im sent someone who gonna be all mine

at all times...rain or shine

sumtin oh so divine

tired of bein shared..spared n compared

tired of countless affairs

cuz when i look around at my peers

makes me realize...i've wasted so many years

so many gorgeous's cutie's n jungalists

i cant remember em all..n i dont wanna live like this

so i guess i'mma chill for my own health

n pray dat God dont send me someone elses angels

just a reflection of myself...